In the spirit of Thanksgiving it seemed appropriate to talk about gratitude this week. We frequently can find ourselves confronted with a problem or obstacle that seems unfair or too difficult to have to face, but for many of us there are those out there who would be grateful to only have to face the types of problems we do. As conditions change for the better we quickly adapt to our new normal and things that once seemed to be desirable or were only minor annoyances can soon be come to be seen as real problems.
We tend to undervalue the things that we already have and overvalue the things that we do not have, but would like to have. We think that acquiring a new gadget or a new car will make us happy, but not long after acquiring them the novelty will where off and we’ll start thinking about something new we would like to have, leading to a perpetual cycle of buying. Regarding these things that we don’t have, but would like to have, there is an excellent quote from Marcus Aurelius in Meditations, Book Seven, Quote 27 translated by Gregory Hays as:
Treat what you don’t have as nonexistent. Look at what you have, the things you value most, and think of how much you’d crave them if you didn’t have them. But be careful. Don’t feel such satisfaction that you start to overvalue them—that it would upset you to lose them.
I found that the quote was more commonly referenced from another translation of Meditations which puts it a bit more poetically, but expresses the same idea:
Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours. At the same time, however, beware lest delight in them leads you to cherish them so dearly that their loss would destroy your peace of mind.
If we were to suddenly lose the things that we currently have, but don’t properly value we would quickly learn how valuable they really were. We never know how long we might have something for, a natural disaster could come along and destroy everything that we’ve ever owned, or the loss of a job might force us to sell things just to survive. Even if none of that happens, time will inevitably take its toll, degrading, destroying or devaluing the things we once coveted so much. In the end we will likely find that thing that we just had to have and would do anything to get, was far less valuable than we’d initially thought. No matter what happens to us and our things, though, there is one thing that we will always have.
As part of Book Two, Quote 14 in Meditations, Marcus reminds us that the present moment of our life is the only thing we really have:
The present is all that they can give up, since that is all you have, and what you do not have, you cannot lose.
The past is gone and the future is not promised to us, everything we own can be taken away, except for as long as we live we will always have the present moment, it is the only thing we can truly own. We can become attached to possessions, but if you stop to carefully examine each thing you own and consider its true value, beyond any sentimental value it may have, most of your possessions would likely be considered to be junk, or worthless by a complete stranger, with the exception of your life.
Perhaps the best time to practice gratitude is before eating, since as long as we have the essentials for survival, including something to eat, we don’t really need anything else, the rest is really just nice to have. In Eight Weeks to Optimum Health Dr. Andrew Weil recommends taking a moment of gratitude before eating for whatever has given its life so that we might preserve ours.
Most of us eat three times a day or more, so there is no shortage of opportunity. Moreover, the act of eating offers a profound glimpse into the mystery of life and the strange interconnectedness of spirit and matter. Life lives at the expense of other life. It matters not whether you are a carnivore or a vegetarian; you perpetuate your material existence by depriving other organisms of theirs. The recycling of forms in this way is a useful focus for contemplation, and we have a chance to look at it squarely every time we eat. I find that a useful technique for raising spiritual awareness is to take a moment before eating to remember our dependence on other living things and our need to take life in order to sustain life.
Life, at least in the present moment is the one thing we truly can own, and we would fight in order to preserve it if sometime tried to take it away from us, yet we regularly deprive other beings of their lives for the continuation of ours without giving it a second thought. You don’t have to be a spiritual or religious person to express a sentiment of gratitude for a meal in front of you and the life that went into creating that meal. Being at the top of the food chain, we’re lucky to not have to worry about being preyed upon by another creature for its sustenance.
As long as we have something to eat, drink and shelter we have something we can be grateful for. If we do not have these things then we have something of true value to desire and can be truly grateful for them when we do have them. Anything beyond the bare necessities for survival we should also be grateful for, as there are many who don’t even have those. Finally, we should be grateful just to be alive, because we never know how much time we have left.