Tag Archives: challenges

Obstacles

The Obstacle is the Way

This week I decided to take a look back at The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday, which serves as a modern introduction to Stoic philosophy. Using a variety of famous figures from more recent history as well as more recent historical events, Holiday explains how we can use Stoic philosophy to deal with the obstacles that we encounter in our lives. One of the main sources of inspiration for the book is of course the famous Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius and his book Meditations. On dealing with obstacles, Marcus said in Meditations:

Just as nature takes every obstacle, every impediment, and works around it–turns it to its purpose, incorporates it into itself–so, too, a rational being can turn each setback into raw material and use it to achieve its goal.

When nature encounters an obstacle it does not allow the obstacle to stop it, instead nature keeps pushing and working until it has found a way around, or through, the obstacle. This is perhaps best expressed through the metaphor of flowing water. When water encounters an obstacle, it does not stop, it eventually either finds a way around the obstacle, forces its way though it, or just drags the obstacle along with it, it does not allow the obstacle to stop it from proceeding for long. We should therefore attempt to be like the flowing water, not allowing obstacles to get in our way and simply just continue on in whatever course we can possibly follow.

In our own lives we will frequently encounter obstacles, and it is up to us to determine how we will face it, will be give up at the first sign of difficulty, or rise to the challenge and find a way past. One of the main tenants of Stoicism is being grateful, or expressing gratitude, for everything that happens to us, regardless of whether we actually wanted it to happen or not. On this point Holiday said:

It’s a little unnatural, I know, to feel gratitude for things we never wanted to happen in the first place. But we know at this point, the opportunities and benefits that lie within adversities. We know that in overcoming them, we emerge stronger, sharper, empowered. There is little reason to delay these feelings. To begrudgingly acknowledge later that it was for the best, when we could have felt that in advance because it was inevitable.

Often after something bad has happened to us, when we reflect back on it later, after having gotten past our initial reactions to it, dealt with it as best we could, and gained some perspective, we can find that ultimately there is a positive takeaway from what happened. As we were forced to find a way to deal with what happened. In the moment we are generally so occupied dealing with what is going on that we cannot take a step back and look at the event in a larger context and see how it might benefit us, only hindsight can really show us how we were able to grow and adapt because of it. If we try to keep in mind as bad things are happening, that when it is all over, we will emerge as a better and stronger person, it can help to keep us going and give us the strength to face the challenge before us.

Early in The Obstacle is the Way Holiday quotes from Marcus Aurelius in Meditations in which Marcus gives a concise explanation of how it is that we deal with, and benefit from obstacles when he says:

Our actions may be impeded by them, but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting.
The impediment to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.

When faced with an obstacle we are forced to adapt, obviously we cannot continue in the direction that we were going and must change our approach. When we think that something has stopped us from proceeding, it really has not, if we are determined, we can continue on, it may just takes us longer to get where we were going now, as we have to find an alternate course.

Life is nothing but a continuing series of obstacles, each time we think that we have made it past and are in the clear, another one arises to block our path, or as Holiday put it towards the end of The Obstacle is the Way:

One does not overcome an obstacle to enter the land of no obstacles.
On the contrary, the more you accomplish, the more things will stand in your way. There are always more obstacles, bigger challenges. You’re always fighting uphill. Get used to it and train accordingly.

After we have faced an obstacle and have grown and adapted from the challenge, instead of getting easier, things will tend to only get harder. As we have proven ourselves facing smaller obstacles, we will be presented with greater challenges, which will only have more, and larger obstacles for us to face. This is good for us, as the obstacles help to keep us busy and our life remains interesting. As frustrating and discouraging as it can be at times as we struggle to surmount the obstacle in front of us, consider how boring life would be if we were never challenged.

There will always be obstacles in life, that we cannot control, what we can control is our reaction to the obstacles that life presents us. Do we get frustrated and complain and ask why life is being so unfair to us, or do we take on the obstacle and find a way past it, and use it as an opportunity to grow. We will never reach the end of the obstacles, as long as we continue living, all that we can do, is accept that we will encounter obstacles along the way, and attempt to prepare ourselves to handle them as they come along.

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Resilience

Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life

This week I decided to review my notes from Eric Greitens’ Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life so that I could catch up on some other reading. Greitens, a former U.S. Navy SEAL offers advice on living life, and dealing with challenges, to a fellow SEAL having difficulties after leaving the service. From the title it is clear that book is about resilience, which is the ability to recover from challenges or setbacks. Early in the book Greitens offers an easy test for judging how resilient someone is likely to be:

But I do believe that there is one question that can tell you more than any other about people’s capacity for resilience. Ask them: “What are you responsible for?”
The more responsibility people take, the more resilient they are likely to be. The less responsibility people take — for their actions, for their lives, for their happiness — the more likely it is that life will crush them. At the root of resilience is the willingness to take responsibility for results.

The more responsibility we have, it is likely, the more frequently we will face challenges or setbacks and must therefore either adapt and respond to the challenge, or else fail to fulfill our duties towards our responsibility.

When we are responsible for something, it is possible that we will not accomplish a goal we are tasked with completing, or not fulfill all of the requirements we are expected to in order to call the goal complete. If there were no possibility of failure, there wouldn’t be any responsibility. At some point during the process of attempting to accomplish the goal, it is likely that something will not go as planned, or something unexpected will arise, it is our resilience that determines our response to these types of situations. We can either give up and say that we cannot do something, or accept that something bad has happened, and figure out how we are going to deal with it, and what we can do to get past it. Or as Greitens puts it:

The essence of responsibility is the acceptance of the consequences — good and bad — of your actions. You are not responsible for everything that happens to you. You are responsible for how you deal with what happens to you.

When something does not go according to plan, often it is beyond our control, as long as we’ve attempted to plan for more than just a best case situation, if it is something that could not be foreseen, although it is not our fault that it happens, it becomes our responsibility to deal with the consequences of it.

When we take on a challenge, and succeed, even if there are no unforeseen problems that arise, it can still help to build our resilience. Any sufficient responsibility will likely involve some amount of stress, as we plan how we are going to handle the responsibility, and worry about potential negative outcomes. By facing this stress and worry, overtime our confidence can grow, making the next similar responsibility less stressful, as we learn that we can handle it.

Increasing our resilience requires us to take on more responsibilities and face the challenges that arise while trying to carry out that responsibility. By becoming more resilient, we learn new strategies for dealing with challenges. By facing a variety of challenges and finding appropriate solutions for each one, we can build up a store of potential solutions to draw upon in the future. So even though a particular challenge may be one which we have not faced before, it could be similar to one that we have seen, and we can then use a similar solution, or combination of solutions which we used in the past to deal with the current challenge.

Much of Greitens’ philosophy reflects that of the ancient Stoics, the most famous of whom is of course Marcus Aurelius who had expressed a similar sentiment about accepting what happens to us, both the good and the bad:

You take things you don’t control and define them as “good” or “bad.” And so of course when the “bad” things happen, or the “good” ones don’t, you blame the gods and feel hatred for the people responsible–or those you decide to make responsible. Much of our bad behavior stems from trying to apply those criteria. If we limited “good” and “bad” to our own actions, we’d have no call to challenge God, or to treat other people as enemies.

While we cannot control everything that happens to us, we can control our reaction to it. Bad things will happen to us, it’s a fact of life, but how we react to them determines who and what we are as a person. Do we accept challenges as they arise and use them as opportunities to grow, or do we give up and let life defeat us? Marcus offers some advice on how to deal with situations when things go against us:

And why is it so hard when things go against you? If it’s imposed by nature, accept it gladly and stop fighting it. And if not, work out what your own nature requires, and aim at that, even if it brings you no glory. None of us is forbidden to pursue our own good.

There are many things that we just cannot change, nature especially, the only thing we have the complete ability to change is ourselves and we can use these challenges as learning opportunities, to identify the skills or knowledge that we do not yet have, but will need to acquire in order to get past the challenge in front of us.

As we accept responsibilities and learn to handle the challenges that arise while working to fulfill them, over time we become more resilient, and better equipped to handle greater responsibilities, and the greater challenges that come along with them. By agreeing to take on ever greater responsibilities and facing the greater challenges that come with them we can shape who we are and allow ourselves to grow.

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